The technology revolution?

Nowadays the technology is involved in every field of our lives. It is a source of knowledge. It is efficient and accurate, therefore used everywhere. There is a well know theory that claims that computers will be able to replace teachers one day. I partly support this theory.

On the one hand, Technology is much more reliable then(sp.) a teacher, for example the internet stores information written by many people around the world. It is accurate and easy to locate. The information is free and can be acquired within seconds. Technology makes everything easier and better.

On the other hand, teachers can make students fully understand the study material and not just focus on a subject like the results you get searching the internet. Additionally teachers can give and add examples for further explanation, which many students need in contract(sp.) to the technology that can't.(You need to further explain this last point).

In conclusion, I believe that technology won't replace teachers, yet I think it would be best to combine the two. The former provides accurate and fast information and the latter can adjust it and support it in its teaching. I don’t believe in one solution, one way. Adjusting is the key.

Very good.

(94)

Daphna

Drive safely

Nowadays many young drivers are involved in a lot of accidents. Statistically every driver under the age of 19 will be involved in an accident in the first two years since he got his driver's license. Numerous accidents caused (by) young drivers are mostly deadly.

The age of getting a driver's license these days is 17. Accordingly, the youth get their driver's license at about the same age. An organization of accident victims has recently proposed that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19. I believe that this proposal will help to reduce the amount of accidents involving youngsters occurring these days.

The suggestion that (the) age of getting a driver's license should be raised to 19 has many advantages. Scientifically speaking, at the age of 19 people has(gr.) better judgment and are less effected by peer pressure. Accordingly, the amount of accidents would be drastically decreased.(You need additional arguments to make your point. )

In conclusion I believe that the age of getting a driver's license should be raised. I think it is a very wise and important thing to do, (new sentence) ideally the paved road will be a safe place again for people to use and cross by(phr.).

(85)

Daphna

The internet revolution

The internet is an invention that changed our lives. All over the world this invention is uses(gr.) by many people, creating a virtual small global village. Obviously, it has a huge meaning in our lives, because we use it for almost everything, studying, reading, and even for our spare time activities, such as computer games.

The internet has many advantages such as, helping people transfer information within seconds all over the world. The internet also helps people communicate and get information in the most efficient and quick way.

In spite of these advantages, the internet has many disadvantages as well. While using the internet you don't have to be identified, meaning you can stay anonymous .This has caused the youth to do as they pleased(gr.). for example, using verbal violence on each other without suffering the consequences.

In conclusion, even though the internet has many disadvantages, I believe that this invention changed our lives for the better. It is true that unsupervised youth can use this invention for false purposes, but in my opinion, a good education can solve it.

Very good work.

(97)

Daphna

Knowledge is not easy to measure – (Unit 8)

A common belief is that nowadays matriculation exams are the most reliable way of testing a student's knowledge. Students all over the country are tested each year in several Bagrut exams on their success in answering a few questions in various topics(phr.) such as chemistry, mathematics, history and much more(ww. - others). While some believe Bagrut exams are the best indication of knowledge, I believe that it is not correct.

For instance, each year a Mikud is published. The Mikud limits the amount of topics each year students are tested on in a Bagrut exam. Students can pass the tests without knowing several topics. Each year students are tested on different subjects. Therefore, those tests cannot possibly measure knowledge if each year students are tested on different subjects. Meaning different students can get different grades in the same subject without studying the same topics.

Furthermore, each Bagrut exam is a single exam. In other words, student's knowledge in a subject is measured in a single test, which they can easily fail due to many reasons, that have no connection to their knowledge. Thus even the most intelligent student can fail that so claimed "knowledge test" just because of feeling sick or having a blackout while answering the test.

In conclusion, the matriculation exams are not the best way of measuring knowledge. In my opinion, in order to measure knowledge there should hold research papers(phr.), which measure not only the theoretical knowledge that can be learned by heart, but also how well students implement their knowledge.

This is better. Good work.

(93)

Daphna

Do you play alone? - (unit 1)

Some people prefer team sports while others prefer individual sports. Both of these kinds of sport have several advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I prefer the former especially because of two main advantages of it(מיותר).

First, team sports encourage subliminally and initially the improvement of each individual involved with this kind of sports. In other words, team sports automatically create a competitive environment between those who (are)involved in several team sports(phr. - not clear what you mean). For example, I and my friend(wo. - my friend and I) play soccer together. Although he is out of shape, he keeps up and doesn't quit just because he wants to help our team win.

Second, persistence is very important when it comes to sport. When an individual is involved in team sports it is much easier for him to be diligent in this sport because he is not alone. Meaning, he has several more team mates which(ww. - who) will help in any difficulty he may face.

In conclusion, I believe that team sports are better than individual ones, since you can enjoy the company of others while doing sports, which helps you persist in the sport and make you improve significantly as well(This is a run-on sentence). That is why team sports are superior to individual sports.

(85)

Daphna

About the tour

(12) Ilan 12(מיותר) Street

Haifa

April 22, 2010

See the World

Biber 3(wo. - 3 Biber) Street

New-York

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter in order to request information about the organized tour to the United States. I am 16 and I like to be in the nature(phr.). My ideal trip is walking in a forest near a river.

I am interested in an educational tour. I am really interested in art so i would like to visit several museums and also do lots of hiking. In addition, I like to do(ww. - take part in) some extreme activities, such as surfing, sky diving and more.

I would like to know how much does(מיותר) this tour cost(s) and where are(מיותר) we(who is "we") (are) going to spend the nights.It is said in your website that this tour is a 7 days(מיותר) tour. Can the tour be longer or include more activities as I listed above?

I Hope you will regard my letter and answer it as soon as possible. I am really excited about this tour, I hope this tour would(gr. - will) be and experience of a life time and that I will enjoy every second of it.

Yours Truly,

Ed Gal

(87)

Daphna

Radio teen programs

12 Ilan Street
Haifa
April 8,2010

Radio Station Manager
The Voice Of Israel
24 Bareket Street
Holon

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter due to your request for program ideas. I am advising you to launch a new program regarding pets. I believe a show regarding pets will attract much more listeners and thus your radio station will become more popular.

The program will include interesting information about different kinds of pets. In addition, teens will be able to call the radio show and ask the zoologist about all kind of problems they are having with their pets and ask for advice.

I am sure this program will be extremely popular, because almost every one out of two teenagers has a pet. Furthermore, I have only met a few people in my life that aren't interested in pets.

I hope you will seriously consider my suggestion, I am sure you will not regret it if you choose to produce my show. Either way, I wish you luck with making your radio show more popular among teenagers.


Sincerely yours,
Ed Gal

This is better. Although I wasn't supposed to recheck this task, I did. Your grade now is: 87
Daphna